I was watching the latest episode of “Satyamev Jayate” on 9th Nov. 2014. The episode started with some audience talking about ragging, women discrimination, acid attack, rape, showing women on TV as an item… and all that. The episode was about Ideal man i think. There were some actresses who were talking about how they have been commented or harassed or touched inappropriately by men/boys while they were going to school.
It made me remind about all such incidences that had happened with me till now since my childhood.
The first ever incidence was when i was hardly 4 or 5 yrs. old and i remember playing with my 2 cousins outside our home. I was wearing the new frock that my mom stitched for me. There was some construction going on in the same lane. Someone’s house was getting built. Three of us were running and racing. Suddenly one very thin man appeared from that construction place and called 3 of us. I was not going to him as I remember my mother always used to tell us NOT TO TALK TO STRANGERS. But my cousins followed him and i followed my cousins. On going near to him he immediately carry me in his arms as i was the youngest of all and took us inside that house. It was afternoon time but was dark inside. There were cement and bricks everywhere. He then make me stand at some higher place and ask my cousins to go and watch outside if his scooter is there and do not come until i call. As soon as they go outside he starts rubbing his hand on my thighs and legs and then he tried to kiss me on my lips. I thought he will eat me as his mouth was quite big in-front of my tiny lips. I was so scared with this that i shouted at my full pitch of voice and he got nervous i think. He tried to shut my mouth with his big hand but my cousins heard my voice and came running inside. I jumped from that place and got my knees, legs and elbows hurt from bricks. I ran from there and stopped at my home and told everything to my mom. I was scared and shivering from fear. I don’t know what action was taken, were my parents able to find that man or not? I was in high fever. I still remember how disgusting i was feeling. How much i hated being a girl. But thanks a lot to GOD that i was saved from being raped.
During my early school days i used to go to school in school bus. I still remember that conductor from bus. I hated him. He used to sit very very close to me that i got squeezed in little place.
Then soon i left bus and started going to school on my new by-cycle that Dady bought for me. I remenber many of such incidences while returning from school when men….grown up men….. some of them were old. they used to make bad comments to us. Once someone tried to squeeze my chest. Yes i would call it chest because i haven’t developed breasts at that time .. i was too young and thin.. i remember how much i cried on reaching home and didn’t go to school for next 2-3 days. I begin to hate myself and my body.
I used to notice it on the road that once i saw a girl got faint as someone hit her hard on her breast. She was walking home from school. And that man was on scooter.
I remember men used to show us their dick on the road and make all dirty comments. I remember how the boys from school talks dirty about girls body and breasts and other things. I remember how the peons from school were always in chance to touch some girl inappropriately.
During my school days i hated myself being a girl. I used to cry and pray to god that god please make me a boy or make me invisible.
Then i went to college and these things never stopped but i learned to deal with such things. I remember once some boys in the car tried to abduct me. Thanks to god that i was saved. God was always with me and saved me.
Then i got job and found such kind of men in office too. one of them was my boss. One of the biggest reason to left job was my boss. One day my boss called me in his cabin and asked me to accompany him to his farm-house and have fun with him there. I asked “what kind of fun sir?” And he said “you are a grown up girl and you know what i mean.. we’ll have some drinks and all that……” I immediately gave the resignation. i asked him about my experience letter and he said that come to my farm house and take the experience letter..
Bloody ass@#** Bast@#*@
I worked for 5 years in 2 different offices and don’t have any experience letter because of such bosses and managers. And i decided never to do job again and will do something on my own.
Now i am married and trying to conceive and badly scared to have a daughter. World have become worst now. How will i be able to save my daughter from such beasts. They are everywhere. I feel in-secured. I am scared of rapes. I am scared for all unborn daughters.